Relationship Between Father and Daughter
--Preparation for Marriage
Written by Mrs. Caroline B.

 

 

When my daughter was little, she would run to the door when her Daddy came home, giving him a big hug because she was so happy to see him. Both of them greatly enjoyed being together and doing things with each other. Although she now has been married for over three years and now lives far away, they still look forward to visits spent together. Her good relationship with her dad has proved very beneficial in her relationship now with her husband.

As this example shows, the kind of relationship that a daughter has with her father will often determine the kind of relationship that she has with her husband. This father/daughter relationship begins at birth. The dad will hold his sweet little girl, loving her and talking to her. As she grows and develops, he will play with her and teach her to obey, and they will continue to spend time together. When she is in high school and college, she will go to him for advice and counsel. She will grow in her love for him and learn to submit to him. When she gets married, it will be easier for her to submit to her husband if she has practiced submission to her father. Many say that the way a girl relates to her father is directly related to her future relationship with her husband. Therefore, it is important for a daughter to nurture a good relationship with her dad.

What if a girl doesn’t have a good relationship with her dad? Perhaps your parents are divorced or your dad might not be home very often because of his job. It’s also possible that your dad may be difficult to get along with. What should a girl in this situation do? Well, the Bible teaches us in Exodus 20:12 to “Honor your father and your mother.” This is a command that we need to obey. You can do this by asking God to help you honor and respect your father and also by being respectful to him whenever you are with him. When he sees your respect, he will probably respond favorably in return. Also, be interested in him, and be a good listener. That will cause him to open up to you. As you work on this and seek the Lord’s help, you should be able to develop a better relationship with your dad. But what if you don’t have a father in your life right now? Maybe your dad passed away or you never see your father because of a divorce situation. As you prepare for marriage someday, I would encourage you to read some good books about how to be a good wife and then pray, asking the Lord to help prepare you to love and submit to your husband when you get married. The Lord will help you to prepare to be the wife He wants you to be if you just ask for His help.

If you are in a normal situation with a father in your home, how can you have a good relationship with him? First of all, I would encourage you to do things with him. You could help him work in the yard, enjoy a walk with him, or notice what he likes to do and then ask if you can join or help him. Doing things together often opens up opportunities for conversation and communication. That brings me to my second suggestion, which is to be a good listener. Being interested in the things that your dad wants to talk about will cause him to enjoy talking with you, and he will also be interested in your input. This will provide opportunities for you to share things that are on your heart as well. Your father will also be honored if you ask his advice about something. Third, learning more about your dad will help you to know how to pray for him, and as you pray for him, the Lord will enable him to be the kind of father that is honoring to Himself and that you need.

Someday when you are married, you will find that you need to do these same three things in order to be a good wife. You need to spend time with your husband. You need to be a good listener and be interested in him, which will lead to communication with him. And you need to faithfully pray for him. If you have related to your father in this way, you will find it easier for you to do the same for your husband. Of course, even in a good marriage, you still need God’s help daily to love and submit to your husband. If we try to do it in our own strength, we will often fail. But if we do these things with the strength and ability which God gives, then we will succeed. We have a loving Heavenly Father who is always near to help us. We just need to ASK Him.

I hope you can see the immense importance of having a good relationship with your father because of the way it affects your future relationship to your husband. We should improve our relationships with our fathers not only for this reason, but also because God commands that we honor them. With God’s help, you will be able to succeed in this area.