Your Individual Experience
Written by Mrs. Abigail C.

 

Dating and Courtship!!! What an exciting topic! My husband and I have been married for a year and a half and have loved every minute. Having recently come through the process of meeting and getting to know someone with marriage in view, the issue of dating and courtship is fresh on my mind. You may be wondering how you’re going to find the right person. What kinds of guidelines will you establish? Perhaps you’re looking for the magic formula to a perfect relationship. Would you like to know the secret?

Each one of you is an individual. Each of you has a unique combination of personality quirks, character traits, opinions and ideas. You may find other people who share certain similar qualities, but no one is just like you. You are special and unique. But what does your uniqueness have to do with dating and courtship?

Just as you are unique, so God’s plan for your life is unique. God will lead you to the right person the same way He reveals His will for other areas of your life. He has a communication plan customized to meet your needs. He knows exactly how to speak to you. All you have to do is listen. His way of leading you to the right person will be a specially made path that only you will travel.
While meeting and getting to know the right person is exciting, it is also very challenging. It is such a time of change and transition. Your whole life’s apple basket gets completely upset. You have to rearrange everything in your life. Sometime it’s a painful process. But the outcome of marrying the right person is the most exquisite experience you can imagine. You’re trying to decide how to reach that outcome.

Ask yourself what is important? Pleasing the Lord in your relationship, right? But what would please Him? Rather than trying to define dating and courting and discussing the differences, I would offer three possible ways to please the Lord between today and your wedding day.

First, respect and follow any parental guidance you are given. I say given because parents want to have different levels of involvement. Communicate with your parents to find out what their expectations are, and be open with them about your feelings and concerns. My parents and I decided that I'd be open to doing something with someone that I thought was a genuine possibility for a long term relationship, but not just date around for the sake of dating. At the same time, we didn't want the 1st "date" to be such a major event that everyone was already thinking seriously about marriage. Our approach was that if a guy asked me to do something with him, and I thought he was a good possibility, I'd tell him I'd like to talk to Mom and Dad about it, and then we'd go from there. That's exactly what I did the first time Nathan asked me out.

I kept my parents informed every step of the way; however, my dad would remind me that I was the one who would have to live with the guy and not him. He wanted me to be convinced in my own heart that this was right. After Nathan and I had attended a few activities together my dad started getting to know Nathan personally himself. As the relationship progressed and we had to make decisions, we talked to both sets of parents and tried to follow all their advice. So did we date or court? Well, I honestly don’t know myself. Some people might say we courted while others would say we were dating. You can decide. The important thing was I knew from the beginning exactly what my parents expected.
Secondly, please the Lord by keeping yourself pure. Physical purity is so precious. But so is emotionally purity. Don’t give pieces of your heart to every person you meet. Go into relationships with your head first and let your heart follow after.
Thirdly, prepare yourself. Prepare yourself for life, not just marriage. Perhaps some of you will be single. Remember, being single is a gift! Prepare yourself emotionally to give everything unconditionally to anther person— be selfless. Learn to put your own desires behind. Prepare yourself mentally to make wise decisions—be discerning. Read good books, seek advice, listen to sermons (there are thousands of free sermons on the web), and seek the Lord. A woman that fears the Lord will be praised. Prepare yourself educationally—be qualified. Take advantage of learning opportunities. Develop your talents, apply yourself in school, and again read books. Prepare now while you can. Don’t focus on the future so much that you lose valuable time which you can never get back.

The story of your life will be different than anybody else’s. You won’t meet your husband the same way your friend will. Your parents don’t have the same ideas about marriage that your aunt does. Your future husband will not have the same needs your sister’s husband has. Your story is unique and, God’s path for you can only be found by you. Know Him in all your ways, and He will guide you down your very own trail. 
 

 

 

 

 

 

Visitors on page since June 22, 2007